Why I Quit Chess and Accidentally Fixed My Doom Scrolling
I am really bad at chess. Like embarrassingly bad. So bad, in fact, that I’ve beaten my 12-year-old son exactly once… when he was five.
Chess is incredibly difficult for me. It’s slow and drawn out, with games being played mentally for twelve steps before a single move is ever made on the board. I find it boring and mentally underwhelming. And yet, despite my general dislike for the game, I decided chess was the answer to curbing my doom scrolling.
The plan was to install a chess app, pay for the upgrade to avoid ads, and then, when I reached for my phone out of habit, I’d play chess instead. All those games would make me a better chess player. I’d beat my kid. I’d actually be able to play against my husband.
It started out well. Every night, instead of scrolling, I logged into the chess app. I watched the daily lesson, played a few puzzles, and then played a couple of games. While I enjoyed the lessons and the puzzles, which were quick, timed challenges where you solved a prompt as fast as possible, I did not enjoy the actual games.
With every loss, I cringed.
How was my rating still so low?
Why wasn’t I making any progress?
How come I could never remember when to apply en passant and only remembered to castle when it was already too late?
UGH.
My brain would frequently scream: Why are you so bad at this?!?!
Eventually, I started avoiding the chess app altogether and went straight back to scrolling.
Because this was a habit I desperately wanted to break, I tried to find something I genuinely liked doing more than scrolling.
Cue the NYT Games app.
The daily puzzles are one of my favorite morning routines, and I was genuinely bummed when the Mini went behind a paywall. Hoping the crossword would cure my woes, I downloaded the app, paid for the upgrade, and voilà…problem solved.
Having access to the full games archive is especially satisfying. If one puzzle gets solved too quickly, I can just play another.
Around the same time, I decided to replace doom scrolling with useful information and bought two anatomy apps.
One is essentially a deep-dive atlas of the human body, structured like flashcards but with the ability to isolate bones or muscles, zoom in on organs, and follow nerves through the body. I love it.
The other is a strength training app with endless variations of exercises. A skinless model demonstrates each movement so you can see individual muscles firing, and there are different modules related to strength training and skill development. It’s practical, lets me follow my curiosity without overwhelm, and frequently jogs my memory on exercises my trainer has programmed that I’ve completely forgotten how to do.
I use both apps regularly, on my own and with clients.
Unlike chess, which left me feeling like a totally unmotivated dumb-dumb, these games and anatomy apps work with how my brain works, not against it.
When I worked at Spine and Sports Therapy down in Houston, the Docs had everyone read StrengthsFinder 2.0. The book included an assessment that identified your greatest strengths.
Unlike most self-help advice at the time, this book advocated focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses. There wasn’t even a “weaknesses” section in the assessment.
Instead of putting all your energy into “fixing the shit you’re bad at,” authors Clifton and Buckingham argued that we should focus on developing our innate talents, because weaknesses will never grow as much as natural strengths anyway.
This book changed my life.
There’s also something in economics called the Pareto Principle, which has been enthusiastically co-opted by the self-help world. In short, about 80% of outcomes come from 20% of inputs. In layman’s terms: when we focus on what we’re naturally good at and genuinely interested in, we tend to get disproportionately great results.
This isn’t all woo-woo nonsense. Any elementary school teacher will tell you that humans are more motivated and pay better attention to things they’re interested in. It turns out this applies to habits, too.
When we build habits that align with our interests and strengths, we’re far more likely to keep them. They don’t require willpower, self-control, guilt, shame, manipulation, or discipline for discipline’s sake. Interest does the heavy lifting.
My top strengths are adaptability and quick thinking, not long-term strategic planning. When I stopped trying to be a chess person and leaned fully into being a nerdy puzzle-and-anatomy geek, I cut my daily phone use in half.
Not through some heroic display of willpower, but by aligning with what I already enjoy and do well.
We spend an incredible amount of time and energy trying to “fix” ourselves. We make resolutions, create plans, and force habits that look great on paper but don’t actually fit who we are. How often have we felt bad for not enjoying things we should enjoy, simply because they’re trendy, productive-looking, or culturally approved?
Real, lasting change doesn’t come from doing what we think we should be doing.
Motivation comes from digging into what already lights us up.
This is true almost everywhere: school, work, relationships, exercise, diet, hobbies.
When you focus on what naturally holds your attention, what you actually want to do, you don’t have to tap into the tiny, finite reservoir of human willpower. You don’t need to trick or bribe yourself. The behavior changes because the friction disappears.
It’s also a lot easier to do things you’re good at.
I don’t have to try really really hard to still be terrible at chess. With a little effort, I can be great at crosswords.
The same 80/20 thinking applies to movement.
When we force ourselves into workouts we don’t enjoy, we end up miserable, resent exercise, and rely on a dwindling supply of willpower. But when we move in ways we enjoy, ways that feel interesting and good, movement becomes sustainable, and consistency becomes the default.
For me, that sweet spot is trail running, Pilates, and strength training. That’s where joy, challenge, and curiosity align. It’s also what allows room for movement that’s purely fun, like ballroom dancing and paddleboarding, and movement that’s purely challenging, like mountain biking and hiking 14’ers.
None of this is accidental. It’s the intentional result of paying attention to what I like, what my body responds to, and what fits into my life. And cutting out everything else without guilt.
If you’ve been spinning your wheels and burning through willpower when it comes to exercise, pause and ask yourself what you’re actually doing…and what you actually love.
Are you tracking 10,000 steps every day out of obligation? Could you hike, walk, roller skate, run, swim, skateboard, or bike instead?
Are you grinding through endless HIIT classes because you feel like you have to? What about kickboxing, TRX, or a slower, more intentional strength program?
Are you doing yoga because everyone tells you it’s good for you? Have you tried tai chi, meditation, Pilates, or good old-fashioned stretching instead?
Movement doesn’t have to be on trend or look a certain way to count.
It just has to work for you.
80-20 Alignment…not endless discipline.
Until next time, friends.
-Rubecca
What’s the Point of all of this Anyway?
About a month ago, I ordered some fun stickers from an online artist. Nothing fancy, just a couple of cute stickers that I wanted to share with a friend who shares similar hobbies.
Instead of a shipping notice and my stickers, I got two weeks of daily emails from the artist.
“Check out our new designs!”
“Popping in to your inbox with a daily tip!”
“Just checking in! You’re doing great!”
What I didn’t get?
The actual stickers. That I ordered.
Still haven’t gotten them.
It’s been weeks.
It made me think, what’s the point of all these emails? Why is this artist emailing me daily? But not sending my stickers?
If your business is selling stickers, just sell me the stinkin’ stickers. I don’t want daily check-ins or faux motivational posts. What I do want is the thing that I ordered. By dropping the ball on the sale and focusing so heavily on their email newsletters, that artist lost sight of what they do and why. I won’t be buying anymore stuff from their online store. Not because they didn’t interact with me daily, but because they dropped the ball when it really mattered and sent me a bunch of stupid emails that provided zero value.
I think about that a lot in my own work. It’s really easy in the fitness space to lose sight of what matters. To see all of the shiny fun stuff on social media and want to replicate those big exciting things. To follow the endless trends and get caught up in what’s next, but provide zero value.
In March, I finished up an Intro to Farming Class. The indigenous land practices class was taught by a Native American anthropologist and land steward, whose lecture has stayed with me: In the Diné culture, wealth isn’t measured by how much stuff you have or how big your house is or how much money you’ve accumulated. It’s measured by how much you give to your community. By the value you provide to others and to the Earth.
Ironically, I’d just heard a similar lesson in a copy writing class. The main theme was “What value are you providing your clients with your newsletters? Are you giving people something of actual use and value, or are you just trying to stay visible?”
Lately, it seems like there’s so much focus on just staying visible and not providing value, purpose or content of actual use.
There are so many fitness instructors online doing flashy things in beautiful places. A lot of times it looks amazing. And then I look closer and it’s really weird stuff that doesn’t even make sense. It may look great, but if the movement doesn’t support your body or your goals, then what’s it actually doing? If you don’t feel more stable, stronger, or pain-free afterwards, then what’s the point?
Every part of what I do at the studio filters through these lenses:
Is this relevant and useful for this client?
Does this provide value to their daily life?
How does this exercise benefit this person or this group?
What are we actually doing here?
And the big one: What’s the actual point of this anyway?
The real value of Pilates Native, is in how the work we do every week shows up in your life outside of the studio.
When your knees hurt less during your daily dog walks.
When you drive 1,000 miles and have zero back pain.
When you golf the entire weekend and have zero hip pain.
When your shoulders feel strong carrying groceries.
When you finally sleep better because your back isn’t seizing up.
That’s the point of all this.
That’s what I care about.
That’s the value I’m committed to providing.
You won’t get daily faux-tivational nonsense emails from me.
But you will get programs, sessions, and support that are actually built to serve you and your goals. (And this giant monthly newsletter with everything crammed into it.)
I can’t wait to see you in the studio.
-Rubecca
If you feel like we’ve dropped the ball or you didn’t get the value you were looking for, please let me know. I’d love the chance to make it right. Or if you’ve loved your sessions and want to let us know, a Google review would be super appreciated!
Saying No to Say Yes
Posted on March 22, 2025 by pilatesnative
When I left engineering a few years ago, an opportunity popped up to serve on the board for my son’s school. The school was in the process of expanding their preK-6th grade program to include a 7th and 8th grade middle school program. The expansion included purchasing and renovating an old church into the middle school building. After touring several other Montessori middle and high schools, I was stoked to help with this expansion. With just a few months left in my three year term, the middle school is thriving as it preps to enter its third school year in the fall.
As a board, we each volunteer anywhere from 3-5 hours a month for board meetings, strategic planning sessions and various committees. Many of the board members also volunteer in the classrooms, help out out on field trips, man the morning carline, reshelve books in the library, and help with a lot of other volunteer tasks. A few months ago, we were surprised by an anonymous letter from a community member criticizing the board for “not doing enough”. The letter didn’t include any specific details. No examples, no clear concerns, no events we’d skipped, just a vague call for more.
In all honesty, my first reaction was annoyance. How do you address concerns when you don’t even know what they are? How do you improve when there’s nothing concrete to work with? How do you address a complaint telling you to do more when you’re already doing a lot?
But after a long run a few days later, I had another reaction. This letter, instead of making me want to do more, made me pause and take stock of everything I was already doing.
The Reality of My Commitments
At the time, my life looked something like this:
Running two businesses: Pilates Native and The Essential Variable
Teaching Pilates Instructor Training
Co-hosting the Movers & Healers meetups
Taking on contract work as a Welding Engineer
Serving on the school board as the BOD secretary
Leading the 4-H bee group with my husband and maintaining the 4-H beehive
Attending a 15 week Intro to Farming class on Wednesdays after work
Taking ballroom dance lessons twice a week
Maintaining a 5-6 day workout routine that strength training, running, and Pilates
And, most importantly, balancing my role as a family member, whether that’s as a wife, daughter, aunt, sister, or mom
A Lesson from My 20s: The Burnout Trap
In my early 20s, I was stuck in a massive injury cycle. Run, injury, rest, recover, run, injury. Over and over again. No matter how much I rested, iced, or did recovery work, I ended up limping or in pain. Dr. DeWalch, the Dr. I worked for at Spine & Sports Therapy, sat me down and gave me a gentle but firm talk on overcommitting myself and the importance of using my energy wisely to avoid burnout. It wasn’t the amount of running that was trapping me on the injury cycle, it was my tendency to get so excited about life that it led to overcommitting myself and burning out. That burnout showed up as endless injuries.
After work one day, we sat down together and he had me write down my entire weekly schedule, day by day, hour by hour. In a list next to that schedule, he had me write down everything I was committed to and was doing on a weekly or monthly basis. Once everything was down on paper, he asked me what was most important. What did I want to do be doing? What could I let go of? What caused more stress than value? What was hurting my body? Not nourishing my soul?
It took us a couple of hours to get through this curate and cull process, looking for ways to cut out the distractions and make room for the things that really mattered. I left that meeting knowing that I would keep running, but could quit bootcamp. Would keep painting but quit voice lessons. Would keep Tuesday trivia nights with friends, but skip Thursday happy hours. That Pilates was a non-negotiable part of my life.
Since then, I’ve done these “curate and cull” sessions every couple of years. I have used his advice to direct hobbies, friendships, home decor, clothing choices and so much more.
That anonymous letter to the BOD was a reminder that it was probably time to listen to Dr. D again and curate and cull my commitments.
Every so often, sit down, take stock of your commitments. Curate your life like you would a piece of art. Keep the essentials. Let go of the noise. Leave space for what matters.
Some commitments have natural end limits. The Intro to Farming class just ended. My board term is up in May, and I won’t be seeking reelection. None of the kids signed up for Bee Group this year.
Instead, I’ll be spending that time:
Investing fully in Pilates Native and the Pilates instructor training program, rather than splitting my energy between too many projects
Using what I learned in farm class to turn our yard into an urban farmscape
Increasing my weekly running distances and keeping Strength Training and Pilates as important parts of my weekly routine
Scheduling a weekly art time and picking up brushes, paints, pencils, markers and messy things again
Writing more
Prioritizing weekly dates with family and friends, because those relationships deserve my full presence
The Power of Saying No
I used to believe that success was about adding more. More commitments, more projects, more friends, more accomplishments, more ways to contribute.
But Dr. D taught me that saying no wasn’t about doing less. It was about doing what mattered most and what brought the most value. Another mentor once said that we should aim for “deep, not wide”, which dovetails well with D’s advice.
That anonymous letter didn’t inspire me to work harder or add more volunteer activities to my schedule. It inspired me to sit down and take stock of my schedule. To choose my activities more intentionally, to create more space for what matters and to let go of things that have served their purpose.
At the end of the day, it’s not always about quantity, it’s also about quality. And every single relationship in my life, whether its family, friends or clients, deserves a Rubecca that shows up fully. With energy, clear priorities and the ability to hold space.
As spring break ends and I’ve spent a week fully embracing the trend of endless tv and social media scrolling known as “bed rotting”, I’m looking forward to putting the phone down, turning the tv off and heading back into the studio with a renewed energy, clearer priorities and a stronger sense of purpose.
I can’t wait to see you there.
-Rubecca
Pilates vs The World
Posted originally on August 23, 2024 by pilatesnative
Trends in the fitness world move as quickly as fast fashion. Prancercising, hula hooping, kangaroo jumping, flash mobs, and pounding have all had their moment. Even the traditional fitness mainstays, running, strength training, cycling and swimming, have had their fads and fusions. Whether it’s Tabata, HIIT, CrossFit, barefoot running, treadmill dancing, parkour, or aqua cycling, there’s always something new and exciting breaking through and taking over. My least favorite has been the “hot” everything trend. Hot yoga, hot Pilates, hot Barre, hot weight lifting. Ugh.
Within the Pilates community, the traditional mainstays have been Classical Pilates and Contemporary Pilates.
But like all of the other movement modalities, Pilates has not been immune to trends or fusions. PiYo, also know as Yogalates, is a fusion of Piates + Yoga. Piloxing pairs Pilates with boxing. Legree uses Mega Reformers in a method that is essentially athletic training on the Pilates equipment w/o the Pilates method. Aerial Pilates, Pilates HIIT and probably a million more that I’m missing have all made their way into the Pilates sphere.
With so many fads competing for attention, it’s common to pit different fitness modalities against each other, and even within the same modality, various approaches often battle for dominance.
HIIT vs Tabata. CrossFit vs traditional Strength Training. Trail running vs road running. Pilates vs Yoga. Pilates vs Barre. Pilates vs Strength Training. Pilates vs HIIT. Classical Pilates vs Contemporary Pilates.
Social media is rife with debates about which workout is superior, creating a competitive atmosphere that can be confusing and sometimes dangerous, as influencers share more and more extreme versions of their routines to gain followers.
But what if we shifted the narrative from competition between modalities to collaboration?
My personal movement practice includes running, strength training, mountain biking, paddleboarding, ballroom dancing and Pilates, with running being my first, favorite and primary exercise type.
But I couldn’t run with out Pilates.
Before Pilates, I was running injured 90% of the time, seeing a chiro weekly and living through a cycle of injury->recover->injury->recover-> repeat. Pilates has helped me run 3-7 days/week for the last 15 years.
Without Pilates, I wouldn’t have the core strength, mobility or knee tracking needed for strength training. I wouldn’t have the confidence to attempt the balance exercises or new things that Josh, my trainer, throws my way.
Pilates frequently gets me through ballroom exercises, has helped on high ropes courses, allows me to stand confidently on the paddleboard, ensures my back doesn’t hurt after 6 hours of bagging 14’ers.
For me, Pilates isn’t my life, it’s the key to my life.
So why pit it against other modalities?
Instead of “Pilates vs”, why not “Pilates and….”.
Pilates vs and Strength Training
Strength training is essential for building muscle mass, boosting metabolism, and improving bone density. Whether you’re lifting weights, using resistance bands or body weight, strength training builds strength and hypertrophy.
If not done properly, traditional strength training can sometimes lead to muscle imbalances, reduced flexibility, and overtraining or injuries.
*Cue Pilates.
Pilates, with its focus on functional strength, deep core strength and stability, is a powerful complement to strength training. Pilates exercises not only enhance core strength and improves stability, it also promotes better posture, brain+body connection, alignment and mobility, all requirements of a good strength training practice.
Increased core strength through a Pilates practice can actually make strength training exercises more effective, as a strong core supports heavier lifts and more complex movements. Additionally, the emphasis on controlled, precise movements in Pilates helps to reduce the risk of injury by improving muscle coordination and balance.
Incorporating Pilates to a strength training practice can help address muscle imbalances, improve flexibility, and enhance overall movement efficiency. On the flip side, the muscle gains from strength training can support and enhance Pilates practice, allowing for more advanced movements and better endurance.
Pilates vs and Yoga
When they’re not being fused together in creative ways like PiYo, Pilates and yoga are often pitted against one another as mortal movement enemies. (ok that’s dramatic, but you get the idea.)
The truth is that Pilates and yoga have a lot of similarities and complement each other really well. Both practices emphasize breath control, flexibility, mindfulness and the mind-body connection.
Where they differ is in their original purpose and intent of practice. Yoga includes a spiritual aspect rooted in a religious tradition that’s over 2000 years old. Yoga classes incorporate meditation, internal awareness and spirituality to encourage relaxation, stress relief, alignment and spiritual health. While yoga can be a great tool for mobility, it’s primary focus has always been on the spirit. The original yogis practiced yoga as a way to prepare their bodies for hours of deep meditation.
Pilates, on the other hand, a relative baby at 100 years old, has always been much more focused on the physical body. Core strength, stability, focus, precision of movement, proper alignment and correct body mechanics. While you may experience relaxation or spiritual growth in a Pilates practice, it’s an added bonus, rather than the main focus.
For folks who primarily practice yoga, incorporating Pilates can provide strength-building exercises that support and enhance their yoga practice, particularly when it comes to developing stability around the joints and preventing hypermobility or overuse injuries.
The core strength developed in Pilates can also help with balance and alignment in yoga postures, reducing the risk of injury and allowing for more advanced poses. Pilates also often includes gait training and a pulling component, which are frequently missing from a yoga practice.
Conversely, the stretching and relaxation techniques of yoga can complement Pilates by improving flexibility and mental focus, helping practitioners to execute Pilates movements with greater ease and control.
Pilates vs and Running
Running is a repetitive, high-impact activity that places significant stress on the joints, particularly the knees, hips, ankles and low back.
Pilates helps counterbalance the intensity of running by strengthening the core, improving posture, and increasing flexibility, all of which are crucial for efficient and injury-free running. The core stability developed through Pilates supports better alignment and reduces the risk of common running injuries like runner’s knee, IT band syndrome, Plantar Fasciitis and shin splints. Additionally, the focus on breath control in Pilates can improve a runner’s breathing technique, leading to better endurance and stamina during long runs.
The Pilates Jump Board can also help improve gait, landing, and endurance, making it an excellent training companion for runners.
Pilates vs and HIIT/Tabata
Like running, HIIT and Tabata are known for their intensity. That intensity can sometimes lead to muscle strain, fatigue, and injury, particularly if not balanced with recovery and proper technique. Once again, that leads us to Pilates.
With its emphasis on control, precision, and core strength, Pilates can provide the perfect counterbalance to the intensity of HIIT or Tabata. Using Pilates as a recovery workout can help alleviate muscle soreness, improve flexibility, improve joint stability, increase balance and promote control during quick bursts of movement.
A strong core and better alignment can lead to more efficient movement patterns, reducing the risk of injury and allowing for more intensity and power during HIIT and Tabata.
The Key to Better Movement: Pilates AND
Whether you lift, run, hike, yoga, dance, HIIT or cycle, Pilates can help you build deep core strength, enhance flexibility, improve stability and balance, develop better posture and alignment, promote better mechanics, master breathing and increase functional mobility.
The key is to approach it as a collaboration, rather than a competition.
Pilates and…
If you’re ready to start your Pilates collaboration and enjoy the benefits of a Pilates practice in your normal workout routine, we’re here to help! Give me a call, reply to this email or shoot me a text.
The Power of Correction Impulse
Posted on July 15, 2024 by pilatesnative
Hey there, what’s up, what’s going on, how are you?
Last night at dance lessons, I asked Caleb, my instructor, if he could recommend some you tube videos, social media accounts or websites that I could check out to learn more about the technique he was teaching. In a dramatic and hilarious fit that could only be thrown by a professional dancer, Caleb informed me that I could film him teaching the technique and then watch that. His main point was that he knew where the content he was providing came from and could vouch for the accuracy, something he couldn’t do with social media resources.
Fair point, Caleb. Fair point. Which brings us to today’s bugbear…
In the last few months, I’ve come across a shocking number of social media posts sharing incorrect, wrong, weird or downright dangerous Pilates content.
There seems to be a growing movement that normalizes falling off of the Pilates equipment. You may have seen the reel of an NFL star falling off of a reformer or come across a post of someone sharing their falling experience, in a way that makes it seem like it’s an every day normal occurrence, or even worse, a right of passage, in the Pilates world.
Spoiler alert- In the same way that falling off of a treadmill or a piece of equipment in the gym is rare, falling off of the Pilates equipment is not a normal every day occurrence.
At the same time, I’ve seen a number of tutorial reels showing how to set up specific equipment, in a way that is 100% wrong and dangerous. A video showing how to attach a jump board to the reformer had tons of views and engagements, but completely missed adding in the safety locks of the foot bar, which keeps that jump board stable and prevents it from snapping back out of position.
Turns out, sharing incorrect information actually creates a TON of engagement and is backed by science as a sure fire way to get folks to comment and share your content.
Scientifically speaking, the “correction impulse” or “correction reflex” is the innate desire humans have to correct wrong information. We have an almost insatiable need to correct misinformation and seek to share or find accurate information.
So while that post showing a pro athlete doing Pilates may get a few hundred likes and some comments, a post of a pro athlete falling off of the Pilates equipment garnered thousands of views and comments. The incorrect jump board tutorial video had tons of instructors commenting and engaging with the content, while a proper tutorial may have gone unnoticed.
You may have even noticed this trick with content creators using spelling errors, grammar errors or even the wrong name to boost engagement. A recent major equipment company posted a photo of a man doing Pilates and labeled it Christiano Ronaldo. Folks were quick to correct that is was in fact Lionel Messi. Turns out, it wasn’t either.
But that post had an insane amount of engagement, so what does it matter?
The “correction impulse” or “correction reflex” may drive engagement on social media, but accuracy and safety should always be the priority. As fitness professionals and enthusiasts, it’s crucial to be discerning about the content we consume and share. Relying on qualified instructors and reputable sources ensures that we are practicing and promoting Pilates in a way that truly benefits our bodies. Which means we also need those professionals to be discerning about what and how they’re sharing too.
So, the next time you come across a Pilates video or post, take a moment to consider Caleb’s advice and ask yourself , “can I trust this content and who can vouch for its accuracy?”.
Pilates & Weight Loss
Posted originally on February 14, 2024 by pilatesnative
Fitness on social media is like the Wild West and frequently calls to mind “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly”.
Lately, my social feeds have been taken over by ads for “Wall Pilates”. These videos typically feature extremely lean and fit AI-generated women in barely-there sports bras and booty shorts demonstrating extremely suggestive poses. Ass out, knees splayed, and some sort of gyration happening. Most of the exercises shown in these ads aren’t even Pilates and an overwhelming number of these posts proclaim magical impossible weight loss results from the program.
Let’s not even talk about the lack of legitimate functional anatomical movements in these ads. 😤
It’s no secret that online marketing for health and fitness is frequently dominated by quick-fix trends and overnight results. “Wall Pilates”, with its visually striking and frequently impractical poses and promises of body changing weight loss, is just another marketing trend that successfully draws in countless hopefuls.
The comments on these ads are overflowing with excitement, anticipation, and enthusiasm as folks ask if these programs can help with their knee pain, back pain, hip pain. With their weight loss and their spare tires. With their mental health. Other commentors, most likely paid bots, proclaim their amazing results with losing inches, pounds, sizes and disappearing pain.
At the same time, the wisdom being shared by actual Personal Trainers, Pilates Instructors, and Physical Therapists offering functional, anatomically sound advice goes largely unnoticed.
Why is it that Weight Loss dominates and drives the Fitness World?When I was teaching Pilates as part of a work wellness program, an older lady attended every week without fail. After every class, she told me how amazing she felt.
Before every class, she told me how much stronger she was, how she was moving better, had better balance, was standing taller, was noticing when she wasn’t engaging her muscles during other activities and could then turn them on.
At the end of the 15 week program, she told me that while she had LOVED her Pilates classes, she wouldn’t be continuing because she had looked up the average calorie burn per class, and Pilates just wasn’t worth it. She only did things that burned calories.
I was devastated.
This was someone who had not only experienced but noticed major changes in her body due to her weekly Pilates practice. She was stronger, more mobile, moving better, breathing better, having less pain, enjoying better posture, and felt amazing after every class.
But her ONLY metric for fitness was weight loss.
Unfortunately, that’s the norm in the fitness world. There are a ton of really amazing benefits to Pilates, and exercise in general, that folks miss out on because their only metric is weight loss.
Ask any personal trainer, fitness professional, nutritionist or health professional and they’ll tell you that weight loss is 80% diet. What you eat, how you eat, when you eat, how much you eat. Not to mention hormones, stress, sleep patterns, health issues, allergies. Even things like where you live, the type of job you have, your race, your culture; all contribute to weight loss.
Weight loss is a much more complicated conversation that requires a deeper understanding of your body and your habits than social media and marketing would have you believe.
Here’s My Unpopular Stance: There are so many reasons to do Pilates that aren’t weight loss motivated.
Pilates gives us the opportunity to do so much more than just lose weight. To my emphasize my point, here are 30 non-weight loss reasons to do Pilates.
30 Non-Weight Loss Reasons to do Pilates
A strong and stable core, including abdominal, back, and pelvic floor muscles
Promotes better breathing patterns
Improved flexibility and range of motion
Reduced stiffness in joints and muscles
Promotes ease of movement in all directions
Builds lean muscle mass, promoting a toned and sculpted physique
Promotes better posture and postural awareness during normal activities
Improved body awareness
Offers an effective low impact exercise option
Helps maintain joint health and functional mobility
Develops balance and coordination
Reduces the risk of falls and enhances overall stability
Builds endurance and stamina through controlled and precise movements
Strengthens muscles around joints, reducing the risk of injuries (this is especially important for hypermobility and EDS)
Complements other forms of exercise, contributing to improved performance in various sports and physical activities
Fosters a deep mind-body connection
Promotes awareness and presence in the moment
Relieves stress and tension through controlled breathing and mindful movements
Enhances focus and concentration
Releases endorphins, promoting a positive mood and reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression
Supports the down regulation of the nervous system
Is a form of somatic movement and can help participants process thoughts, emotions and feelings somatically
Serves as an active meditation practice
Supports rehabilitation from injuries and muscle imbalances
Offers a safe and effective exercise option for pre- and postnatal women, addressing core strength, pelvic floor health and stability
Offers a safe and effective exercise option post-surgery
Contributes to overall physical, mental, and emotional well-being
Develops fine motor skills
Provides a sense of community and belonging
Offers a fun and mentally engaging way to exercise
Based on this giant list of benefits that aren’t weight loss related, it’s time to redefine our metrics for fitness.
Instead of the entire scale, weight loss should only be a single metric in a long list of equally valuable metrics. Quality of life should rank higher on the list, along with strength, functional mobility, and holistic well-being.
Instead of falling prey to the allure of online crazes that offer a magical solution to lose 7 pounds in 7 days, let’s stop and consider the real, tangible non-weight loss related benefits that Pilates, and exercise in general, has to offer.
Take care friends.
-Rubecca
p.s. As always, I LOVE to hear your thoughts on these posts. Feel free to reply to email or bring up this topic in your next session. 🙂
And just so we’re clear, if you’ve done Pilates, you know instructors can take anything, even a wall, and turn it into a prop. So “Wall Pilates” is a thing. It’s just not the thing we see on these ads.
What I Learned from a Year on Hard Mode
Posted on December 15, 2023 by pilatesnative
Leaving 2022, I was feeling fat, lost, alone, old and frumpy. For the first time in almost twenty years, my identity wasn’t tied in some way to engineering. I was at my heaviest non-pregnancy weight, managing food allergies felt like an endless losing game of whack-a-mole and the only peace was found at the studio. When thinking about how to shake out of those ugly feelings, I decided that I was going to jump off the deep end and spend 2023 doing all of the things that I’m really bad at or afraid of. While I anticipated doing a few challenging activities that shook off the funk, I did not anticipate the total shift of my world view.
From learning simple things like how to play chess and taking River fishing with just the two of us, to much heavier and challenging things like one-on-one Life Coaching, public speaking, dance performances, and attending a party alone, this year really ran the gauntlet. Here’s a quick list of what I learned from an entire year spent intentionally on hard mode.
1) There are so many people to thank.
The expectation of this challenge was that it would be a solo project. The reality is that there were so so many people who were ready and willing to help and who happily contributed to this year and helped me reach, push and enjoy the year. Thank you all so much!
2) Fear Patterns quickly emerged.
Pretty quickly, it became very apparent that I struggle with 3 main things. Heights, water and people came up over and over again this year. The more I immersed in these things, the easier they got. While I still may not be ready for a ski lift, I did have a blast doing a high ropes course, practically lived on the paddle board this summer and I actually went to multiple parties solo this year. (We won’t talk about the total foot in mouth moment I had when meeting a friend’s girlfriend for the first time. hahaha)
3) A little vulnerability pays off big time.
Turns out vulnerability opens a lot of doors. Every time I reached a plateau or hit a door, the key was vulnerability. There were times when the last thing I wanted to do was be vulnerable or take that next step. But, time after time, reaching out, being honest, and following up really really changed the way this year operated.
4) I didn’t die.
This sounds silly, but nervous systems aren’t always logical and mine loves to live in the BUT THAT’S A SCARY THING PANIC space. By doing scary or hard things over and over again, my nervous system actually calmed down. Surprisingly, the anxiety and panic attacks have almost completely tapered off. Yes, leaving a stressful job situation probably helped with most of that, but facing scary things and surviving has built in an extra layer of resilience into my nervous system. In clinical speak, these are corrective experiences. And man oh man, did I have plenty of those this year.
5) I’m a lot stronger than I think I am.
I am so very privileged to have a strong healthy body. This realization hit hard anytime I was doing something and realized that while my mind and nervous system were losing their shit, my body had quietly taken over and was doing the thing with relative ease. There’s nothing quite like realizing this when you’re 50 feet above ground and strapped into a ropes course harness. We tend to take our bodies for granted and this year really highlighted how capable and strong my body actually is. I am very grateful to Pilates and to my personal trainer for pushing me in a way that allowed this to be true.
6) It’s totally ok to try and fail.
There were a few times this year where I set out to do a thing and then just totally bombed. Or I set a goal and just missed it. While it was disappointing, nothing bad happened and no one died. “Failing up” is something I got real comfortable with this year.
And finally, the big one. It’s ok to be bad at things. (Yes, seriously.)
Prior to this year, my inner type-a perfectionist would have shuddered at the casualness of how I just typed this sentence. Prior to this year, I would rather not do something than to do something badly and risk any possible embarrassment. Here’s the thing. That mentality kept me locked up in a very safe (and sometimes boring!) box. Spending an entire year doing things I’m bad at gave me permission to be bad at a whole lot of things. And with that permission came freedom. Freedom to look stupid, freedom to ask a ton of questions, freedom to be silly and just in general a freedom to try things without any expectations at all.
While this year has not been easy and there were times where it was incredibly frustrating and made me cry, it has been a ton of fun. I’ve learned, grown, failed and embarrassed myself thoroughly lol. 10/10 would recommend. 10/10 would do again.
Thank you, my friends, for reading and for those of you that held space for the challenges of the year. I am so grateful for all of you.
Have a great December.
-Rubecca
Your rates aren’t competitive!”
Posted on June 14, 2023 by pilatesnative
As I’m writing this newsletter, I’m listening to a training module for Pilates Instructors. In an excellent moment of universal synchronicity, the host is talking about all of the mental and emotional reactions we have when it comes to our rates. Whether it’s setting our rates, actually charging our rates, telling people our rates or raising our rates.
Rates have actually been on my mind for several months.
A few months ago, a comment was made in a passing conversation with someone that my rates “weren’t really competitive”. Rather than getting upset or feeling confrontational or racing to do market research (my usual go-to reactions with any perceived criticism), my reaction was more amused. “Well, who am I competing with?”
Pilates Native was not built on competition, but on the idea that there was great value in sharing the things I know and love with others. And let’s be honest, teaching Pilates is way fun!
That love of movement and passion for the Pilates work makes Pilates Native a power house of modalities and offerings. In twelve years as an instructor, I have learned, studied and certified in so many fun things, meaning the sessions offered at Pilates Native are a blend of:
Hatha Yoga
Energy Work (Reiki, Psych-K)
Sports Therapy
Injury Prevention + Injury Recovery
Mat Pilates
Equipment Pilates (Reformer, Cadillac, Chair, Spine Corrector)
Standing Pilates
Running Shoe Analysis
Gait Training
Fascial Stretch Therapy
Life Stretch
Trauma Informed Sessions
DEI, BIPOC, LGBTQ+ Informed Sessions
Somatic Movement
TRX
Spreadsheets (seriously can’t forget those!)
and now…RYC – Restore Your Core
On top of all of this fun stuff, I’m also a Yoga Alliance E-RYT and a Physical Mind Institute Certifying Instructor. (in an unrelated but amusing aside from my past life, I’m also a Certified Welding Inspector lol)
With all of that being said, rates will be assessed annually. Monthly subscriptions will give the best deal on sessions.
If you’ve been wanting to start your Pilates routine or get back into it, Laura and I are both accepting new clients right now!
Laura has her own amazing list of certs and experience. Most notably she is a classically trained Pilates instructor and is also certified in Thai Yoga Bodywork.
As always, making this work accessible to as many people as possible is super important to me, so equity sessions and scholarships will still be available for the Pilates work and the instructor trainings.
The Power of NO
Posted on August 1, 2022 by pilatesnative
I said no!
Last week, I went into Ulta for the first time ever. As I was checking out, the cashier asked for my phone number. When I declined politely, she asked if I’d like to sign up for a rewards account. I declined again. She sighed, made a face and proceeded to ring up my items. With the total, she again asked if I wanted to sign up for an account based on how many points the purchase would get me.
With a stronger no, I declined. At this point, she became almost hostile and demanded a phone number for a friend or family member so they would get my purchase points credited to their account instead of wasting them.
At this point, three minutes into our transaction, I had said no four different times in four different ways. With each no, the cashier became less and less friendly and more and more frustrated while I became increasingly agitated and less and less polite.
Her resistance and hostility to accept my no locked us into a weird power struggle. In the past, I would have caved, rattled off my phone number while staring at the ground and feeling like a chump. Instead, I held my ground, accepting that my weird obsession with privacy and data mining was more important to me than this cashier’s feelings.
No wasn’t always easy for me and it’s a skill I’ve had to develop.
Whether it’s saying no or accepting a no, there is a complex internal struggle built into no.
When we say no to someone, it can trigger guilt, shame, and fear.
Am I a bad person for declining the $1 donation to a charity? Will the cashier treat us differently if we say no to their rewards program? Will our friends still like us if we say no to the midnight showing? Are we letting down our friends/family/selves if we say no to the expensive holiday activity? Will our kids be scarred for life when we say no to the extracurricular activity that requires getting up at 5am? Will my no to overtime cause the boss to skip over me at promotion time?
Saying no can also trigger FOMO (the fear of missing out). With the rise of social media, FOMO has run rampant and can cause a whole list of terrible things like depression, anxiety, feelings of loneliness and low self worth.
On a more serious note, no can also be a dangerous word. Many folks, particularly young women, have learned to dance around no as a means of self preservation. A passive or flakey answer can diffuse a situation in which a strong no would only escalate.
It’s not only our personal relationships that struggle with no. Entire industries, particularly sales and marketing, are built around manipulating us to say “YES!”.
With each no we want to give but override, we’re telling ourselves that what we need doesn’t matter.
With each yes we give, when we really want to say no, we’re accepting less sleep, more doubt, more weight, less health, more debt, less free time. We’re also telling ourselves over and over, that what we need doesn’t matter.
What does this have to do with Pilates?
With 30+ years experience as an athlete and 12+ teaching fitness, I’ve learned that most of us have been conditioned from a very young age to override our own “check engine lights”.
Instead of turning internally to guide our training, we have been taught and encouraged to depend on external sources like coaches, teachers, doctors, training plans and our sports dogmas to tell us when we take a break, when we get water, when we rest, when we eat, how much we sleep, what we eat and how we treat our bodies.
We’ve also been taught to override any feelings (mental/emotional/physical) that go against what our training plan says.
Feeling tired? Too bad. It’s tempo day.
Mentally burned out? Too bad. Lace up and get on the field.
Knee pain? Suck it up and run through it.
Jump too scary or too dangerous? It’s going to be effing awesome if you land it, so do it anyway!
The worst part, is that most of the time, it’s not even our coaches or trainers. We do this to ourselves.
Two things happen in this environment.
1) We’ve never been taught how and when to say no, so we don’t know how to do it. Often, we don’t even know that saying no is an option.
2) We lose the ability to listen to our own intuition and take care of our bodies.
As a runner, coming from a culture of “no pain, no gain” and “just run through it”, this is where 100% of my injuries came from. While a few days off could have easily helped manage Achilles tendonitis or shin splints, “running through it” meant severe pain that lasted for months and in a few cases, major issues that changed my life.
On a broader scale, the inability to say no can cause burnout, frustration, resentment, depression and fatigue. It also robs us of our ability to direct our time and energy into things we enjoy and frequently leaves us out of alignment with our priorities.
Luckily, saying no is a skill. And like all skills, we can start small, we can practice and we can strengthen the skill until we master it.
As a Pilates instructor, a mom, and an aunt, I pride myself on being a safe-no.
In fact, I am completely honored and internally cheer when one of my clients tells me no.
That no means:
they are listening to their body
they are advocating and communicating for what feels safe and what doesn’t
they are taking charge of their own Pilates practice and not just performing a “monkey see, monkey do” routine.
they are strengthening their “no muscle” along with the rest of their core muscles
they trust me and know that I’ll accept their no
As a safe-no, my job is to ensure that clients feel safe, empowered and confident that their no will be respected.
By offering a safe no, clients have a chance to check in with themselves and decide whether or not they are ready to take on the next challenge.
The true power of a safe-no is taking back our autonomy and intuition, in having the confidence to know when we need to back down and when we’re ready to scale up.
Injury prevention is rooted in scaling up appropriately.
If you’re up to it, allow yourself to say no to one thing today. Guilt free. Enjoy it!
-R
Rejecting hustle culture
Posted on October 26, 2021 by pilatesnative
Running a business + honoring my own needs
Good morning lovely people! Just a quick reminder that this is my week off from the studio.
When I first started down this path as a Sports Therapist for a Chiro clinic, I was working 40 hours a week and seeing patients on 30 min intervals. It was fun and I learned a ton, but man…between the patient notes, individualized planned sessions and demonstrating, it was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting. After work, I’d get home and just sit on the couch just staring into space for an hour before gearing up to take the dogs running or doing normal life activities. One of the reasons I went back to engineering was because I needed something that was a little less energy intense.
When I opened the studio, I knew 3 things:
burnout was the number one reason fitness professionals move on from the industry
overwork and underpay killed the passion for most small business owners
my own energy limitations
Unlike most small businesses where we jump in 100% working 24/7, this little studio was designed with strong boundaries around my energy, including the number of clients and hours worked. My first openings for availability was limited to 3 clients per week! That sounds CRAZY, right? Who starts a business limited to just 3 clients?!?!
But here’s the thing. When I honor my own energy needs and limitations, I can give my clients 100% every session. I LOVE being in the studio, I LOVE creating that safe calm space for you guys. And I LOVE every minute we are together.
When I was working 40 hours a week, I didn’t love my job after about 20 hours. And that sucked big time.
As my ability to take on studio hours increased, I wanted to make sure I was honoring my own energy needs and decided my business plan would include limited hours/clients per week AND the ability to give myself a week off every 6 weeks.
This was a HUGE decision. It meant I had to be brave enough to walk the walk and talk the talk, following all of my own advice to clients on the importance of self care, prioritizing your needs, and knowing when to take a break BEFORE you break.
It meant going against all conventional small business advice of hustling, nose to the grindstone, don’t stop ‘til you get enough.
And it meant either closing the studio for a week every 6 weeks and no income that week or finding a dedicated sub that I could trust to keep things rolling.
In theory, it was a terrible idea.
In practice, it’s been the BEST business decision ever.
My clients were amazingly receptive and supportive of the idea.
I’ve found two amazing subs who have started to create relationships with regular clients and provide incredibly valuable insight and variety to the client practice.
And I’ve even found that some clients will schedule their own trips, appointments or other self care things during that week break. Together, we’re walkin’ the walk.
Long story short? Rejecting hustle culture, honoring my needs and building a business with strong boundaries around those needs has allowed the culture of self care to thrive in the studio. It’s not just some catch phrase we throw around. It’s what we do.
Hell ya.
Have an awesome week! I miss you already and can’t wait to see you next Tuesday!
Honoring all the good stuff,
-Rubecca
Rest and Play in a time of Stress and Chaos
Posted on November 5, 2020 by pilatesnative
Y’all, this has been the CRAZIEST year. We have literally pivoted and pivoted and pivoted again as this year has changed how we work, school, commute, shop, socialize and exist. It has been bananas.
I started out writing a super long email about the benefits of a forced rest and how bodies are presenting so much differently on the stretch table the last few weeks, but Mailchimp deleted everything and in recovery mode, I realized I most wanted to share with you an inspiring story about play instead.
A few days ago, my brother gave my kiddo a jump rope. It’s nothing special, just a cast-off old jump rope that my brother just didn’t want to take with him on his recent move. Rio treated that thing like gold and for the entire day, he carried it around in his pocket like a special treasure, finding pockets of space large enough for him and his jump rope.
At first, he was terrible. Just awful. This kid couldn’t get a single jump before he’d trip, fall over, whip himself in the head, or whack his jump rope on a wall, car, tree, other other random item he’d set up too close to.
But he kept trying.
He even brought his jump rope with us on our daily walk, stopping to jump every few steps. On our walk, he said “Mama, watch me jump 10 times!”
He jumped twice. Tripped. Laughed, yelled “I got two!”
Jumped four times. Tangled. “Ok, that’s four!” He said.
Jumped another four times. “Did you see me jump 10 times?!?! Oh ya, I did it!” And he continued to celebrate his way out of a jump rope tangle.
Watching him celebrate, I realized he was setting SMART goals and celebrating his wins like a champ.
His goal was totally specific. 10 jumps.
It was measurable.
It was attainable.
It was realistic.
And it was timed.
He didn’t add in any extra qualifiers or quantifiers to his 10 jump goal. He didn’t say, I’m going to jump 10 times without stopping, or 10 times with my eyes closed, or 10 times every day for 10 times a day. Nope.
He wisely chose to jump 10 times in any fashion and celebrate the win.
Watching him celebrate, I realized just how often we, as grownups, gatekeep ourselves and set ourselves up for failure. We add so many extra qualifiers and quantifiers to our goals that the things we enjoy become work. We gatekeep ourselves out of enjoyable activities and communities by adding extra requirements that don’t need to be there.
Worst of all, we burn ourselves out by never celebrating our wins.
Here’s the thing. By instinctively setting a SMART goal and celebrating his little win, Rio kept himself motivated and kept his chosen activity, jump roping, fun. He spent the entire afternoon on the driveway jump roping, setting goals, giving himself positive pep talks, counting, celebrating.
He created an entire celebration dance.
He cheered himself on with shouts of “Oh yeah, oh yeah, check me out!”.
The next afternoon, he was still jump roping.
But he wasn’t tripping. He wasn’t tangling. He wasn’t whacking himself or anything else with this jump rope.
He was jumping up to 30 reps in a go, attempting tricks like single leg or eyes closed, skipping while jumping, and scheming for how he could scooter and jump rope at the same time.
His celebrations kept him motivated. His motivation gave him momentum. His momentum gave him excitement and inspiration. The inspiration kept things fun. And when things are fun, we want to keep doing them.
Without realizing it, this kiddo taught his Mama 2 HUGE lessons.
1) It’s so much easier to get better at something when it’s fun and we want to keep “playing”.
and
2) He showed me just how necessary celebrating the little wins really is for our long term motivation, momentum and inspiration.
This week, I challenge you to join me in celebrating one teeny tiny little win in a big way. No matter what the little win is, go crazy. Create your celebration dance. Jump up and down. Yell “oh yeah I did it, I did it oh yeah”. Shout “Oh yeah!! Check me out!”.
Signing off with wishes for a day filled with pockets of rest and play. And as always, Pilates Native is here to provide you with a safe space to rest, play and celebrate the little wins with Pilates and Stretch Therapy.
Take care and see you soon,
Rubecca